


Somewhere in the Mind Space

by Monthorns



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Blood, Morally Neutral Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Spoilers for Episode: Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2020-07-25 00:36:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20023630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monthorns/pseuds/Monthorns
Summary: Lets say that Virgil never hung around when the Light Sides were present, only ever showing up when Thomas was alone. How would he find healthy ways to cope? How would he befriend people who actually want to help him? Virgil may not know a way to get help, but the Light Sides will try their best to save their Gloomy Prince.





	1. Subconsciously Found

Wandering the Subconscious, although sometimes dangerous, is one of Pattons favorite pastimes. The Stray Thoughts that run about are just so adorable! And the whistle of the train as it roared through Thomas’ mind was a nice distraction from the near darkness when he reaches the edge. There, the Subconscious dips into what the sides call ‘The Void’, but Logan has surmised that it is really just the part of Thomas’ mind that he wishes not to explore. Where unwanted and uncomfortable thoughts thrive, and Thomas’ most devious plans arise from there. Patton knows he should stay as far away from the void as possible, but he just can’t help himself. He can sometimes make out quiet voices coming from the bottom, and although he can’t hear them, he can’t help but wonder what the “Dark Sides”, as Roman calls them, are doing. Today, nothing can be heard from the pit. However, Patton is shocked to hear something shuffle down the edge, just close enough that he can hear heavy breathing and the sound of clothes ruffling. 

Making his way quietly along the edge, Patton comes across the dark outline of someone huddled against a wall.

“Hello?” Patton’s voice sounds loud compared to the echoing silence of the darkness. The figure jumps, and Patton can hear their heart speed up. Already, this is alarming him. The figure stands and makes a break for the edge, but he just so happens to be within reach of Patton. Patton grabs a hold of the figures hoodie, and is pulled forward by the force of them falling to the ground, mere inches from the edge.

“Woah now Kiddo, no need to be making rash actions.” He pushes himself up, rubbing his arm where it met the floor. The heart beat echoes louder, and Patton can now hear the sharp breathing. When he looks at the person, he gasps softly at who he can see below him.

“Anxiety? What are you doing here, kiddo?” He asks, truly wondering what the dark side is doing close to the lights territory. Anxiety’s dark shadows under his eyes seem to grow, and his eyes shoot from side to side in their effort to avoid the moral sides’. Receiving no answer, Patton sits cross legged next to Anxiety, who was still half laying on the floor, his right elbow supporting his upper body. 

“I only ask cause it seems so unlike you to be up here. Is everything okay?” 

“Why should you care?” Anxiety spits out, continuing to avoid any contact. Patton flinches backwards as the air in the room tightens, and Patton can recognize the beginning of an attack.

“Hey hey hey, no no, Anxiety, focus on me. It’s going to be okay, alright? Do you want to move?” Anxiety nodded through sharp breath. He hesitantly accepted Patton’s outstretched hand, but before Patton could check on him, he was over the edge.

“Anxiety!” He shouted after the dark side as he fell. A thump and the soft sound of running feet were the only sounds that proved Anxiety survived the fall. Patton stood over the edge for a few, silent moments before sighing and making his way to the common room. 

What awaited him was Logan and Roman caught in another debate between the “logistics of dreams” and “defeating all of the villains”. Patton cringed. After his encounter with Anxiety, it’s a huge understatement to say that he was uncomfortable. Making sure he hadn’t been spotted yet, Patton sunk out of the room. Arriving in his own, more comfortable room, Patton ran his hands along some of Thomas old poems. He always finds humor in what Thomas thought was cool in his younger days, but now he can only think about the main side in charge of that. 

Something was wrong with Anxiety, and it wasn’t just the usual “doom and gloom”. Patton’s never found that side anywhere near the light side of the pit. Worried about his dark son, Patton lays in his bed and plans how he will help, something easier said than done.


	2. Instinctually Found

Although staying awake was not the most logical idea, Logan had to admit that it had some upsides. Like, as he is doing now, studying new pictures of some further galaxies. However, on this particular night, Logan decided to go against his better logic, whether from sleep deprivation or just a general lack of care, and made his way to the kitchen to grab some coffee. His reasoning for doing this was sound at the time; if he stayed up for one more night finishing his reading, he could catch up on his lost sleep over the course of the next few days. One night is a fair sacrifice for knowledge in his mind. Or, in this case, Thomas’ mind. 

While he was waiting on the coffee pot to start brewing, Logan overheard some shuffling from the Living space. Looking past the doorway, he saw a dark figure huddled on the couch, staring ahead at the blank tv. Ruling out the other two sides sleeping upstairs, Logan was left with three names. Choosing the most reasonable name, he called out,  
“Anxiety?” 

The figure shoots up, stumbling over shaking legs towards the front door, an obvious route to the ‘Pit’. Logan, being the closest to the front, stepped in front of the exit. Anxiety froze, his hands shooting up to tug at his hood. 

Of course, being Anxiety’s opposite, Logan did not understand why Anxiety had to always run. Anxiety never seemed to appear physically to Thomas, but Logan knows that that is not the only way he can influence Thomas’ adrenaline and fears. If Logan wants to get to the bottom of why Anxiety is as bad as he is, he needs to get Anxiety to open his mouth.   
“Anxiety, I’ve been meaning to ask you some things.” Logans words seemed to have some physical effect on Anxiety, curling in on himself even more. Horrible posture. Logan gave Anxiety ample time to answer, but he seemed more keen on shaking and staring at the door behind Logan. His mouth resembled that of a fish, opening and closing with only air escaping.

“I,” He starts. Logan stands straighter, waiting for the answer he’s been hoping for. If it was always this easy, they would’ve had this conversation years ago. Now, however, Anxiety has reverted back to his fish mouth. Logan sighed.

“It’s just a few really, no need to get so worked up.” That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Anxiety flinched back, his hands coming down to his side in fists. His eyes met Logans, and the purple near his irises grew. This was the Anxiety that Thomas always heard. Logan felt his eyes grow heavy, and he was sure that he had the same excessive eye shadow that Anxiety always had. 

What Logan wasn’t expecting to follow this was a gut wrenching fear to overrun his logical thinking. He doubled over when his stomach began to turn, and he saw out of the corner of his eye that Anxiety took this chance to bolt. As he left, the fear that he caused slowly left the room. Logans lungs begged for fresh air, having basically recycled the carbon he releases. As the unruly emotions left his mind, Logan stood up, brushing some odd wrinkles out of his shirt. 

Turning, he examined the door Anxiety had escaped through. In his rush, the darker side had left it open, allowing the constant cold of the subconscious to flood in. Logan, still shaky on his feet, closed the door, shivering as one last breeze forced it’s way in. Standing with his hand on the knob, Logan exhaled a breath he was unaware that he was holding. If he couldn’t get his answers by himself, he’d just have to get some help. However much he dislikes the thought.


	3. Artistically Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! School really takes it all out of you, huh?   
> I hope you guys enjoy this next part! We are nearing the end!! Pretty exciting to finally finish a work!

The theatre, always a place of confidence and comfort, was like Romans home nowadays. The other two sides would rarely find themselves in this room, other than Patton coming in to call Roman to eat. This solitude allowed Roman to easily work on any ideas that he’d been making, and even let him explore the more sensitive ideas that he thought would make a good video without the others pushing it back. 

The current play he had put together was, in the shortest terms, a vent work. He was starring as a lonely high school senior, who had been sorted into the Jock category based on only his looks and physical attributes. Deep down, this Jock had always dreamed of a different life, one where he wasn’t held to high standards and could be himself. The current scene he was rehearsing focused mainly on the Jock lamenting the fact that he could never be open about his friendship with two other seniors, who were both far outside the standard for who he should hang out with. One being a complete Nerd, and the other not fitting into one specific category. However, there was a third who he’d always kept his eye on; a quiet Emo, who had always been there in the background of the Jocks life. The Emo had been rejected by everyone in the school, only finding solace in two other outcasts. 

Roman had spent many hours writing and scrapping every scene with the Emo in it, finding it too difficult to properly convey how this Jock felt. He considered multiple times going to the others for help, but feared that they would question his work too much, which often led to the entire work being tossed. 

Currently, on the stage, Roman had been going through many of his ideas, acting out a small portion, jotting down what did and didn’t work. He was in the process of preparing his next trial when a sandbag fell from the cats off stage. The loud boom that it caused alerted Roman to the other side in the room. He stood frozen for a long moment.

_Anxiety_.

The very inspiration for his play was standing just twenty feet from him, staring back like a deer caught in the headlights. They both stood there, before Roman caught Anxiety getting ready to sprint away. Before he could, Roman took a half step forward, freezing the other side in his tracks.

“Wait!” Anxiety flinched back at the shout, so Roman continued quietly, his hands out in a, hopefully, non-threatening way. “I was wondering if you’d be able to help me with my next play. You see, one of the characters I’m writing- who doesn’t have a name yet- just won’t spark any inspiration in my mind,” Anxiety’s face scrunches, looking at Roman in a suspicious yet confused way. “I know, I know. Crazy right? What _can’t_ the physical embodiment of Creativity think of? Well, apparently this.” At this, Roman grins, widening his arms. “That’s where you come in! Hopefully. I just need a few reference points and you’re the perfect model for this!” 

At the end of Romans proposition, Anxiety seems to mull this over, although he is still leaning further into the darkness of the wings. Roman, trying not to get his hopes up, offers the page of all his ideas for the Emo to his muse. Anxiety flinches further back as Roman extends his arm, but when he doesn’t move any closer, Anxiety leans forward. After a quick examination of what Roman was offering, Anxiety lunged forward, taking the paper, and retreating out of the theatre before Roman could even blink. 

When he did acknowledge that both his ideas page and Anxiety was gone, Roman turned to the rest of his work, gathering it into his red folder. Taking one last look around the theatre, Roman bowed, leaving the large room. 

Just as the door behind him was closing, Roman could have sworn that he heard a faint, “Thanks,” from inside the theatre. Turning to peer through the small window, he saw nothing. Shaking his head, he continued to his room.


	4. Unknowingly Found

If you had told Thomas that in a total of two minutes his life would be flipped on its head, he probably would’ve believed you. However, if you told him how his life would be flipped, he would be very skeptical, to say the very least. 

As fate would have it, Thomas experienced this exact situation on a late Saturday night. He had just finished editing a video when he heard a sudden thump from the kitchen ring through the house. 

Making his way to the doorway of said room, he found a rather strange scene playing out in front of him. Roman was standing on top of the counter, explaining the noise Thomas heard. What caught him completely off guard, however, was the presence of Anxiety standing mere feet from Roman, and both seemed to be reading off a script. Roman wore a proud grin as he quietly recited his lines, and upon observing Anxiety’s face, Thomas saw that he was also wearing a smile, although it was much more subtle than Roman’s was. The two didn’t seem to notice the one-man audience they had acquired, which Thomas used to his advantage. 

After a few minutes of watching Roman whisper what seems to be a very grand and long monologue, Roman went completely silent, staring at Anxiety expectantly. The hunched side took a deep breath, and just when it looked like he wouldn’t say anything, he began to recite some lines. To say that his performance was stunning would be an understatement. Thomas found that for the first time in his life, he was drawn in by Anxiety, and felt no need to avoid him.

As Anxiety continued reading off the replies to whatever Roman’s character was saying, he grew more confident with his gestures, and Thomas could see the wonder in Roman’s eyes. He’d only truly seen Roman like this when a performance was going just how he wanted, which has rarely ever happened. The fact that Thomas saw him like this with someone who Roman had labeled “Dark” so many years ago threw him for a loop. He could only imagine how these two grew close enough to act comfortable like this. 

The hunched side paused as he read a part of the script, his face lowered into a confused expression. He looked back up at Roman, eyes narrowed in challenge. 

“You really expect me to read this? Are you sure this isn’t just your way of asking me out?” The anxious side teased, earning a sputter from the fanciful side. The color from Romans sash seemed to find its way to his cheeks following the comment. He struggled to put together a proper sentence, and was only saved when Anxiety chuckled. 

“I’m only messing with you Princey,” He snorted, pushing aside his bangs and releasing a long sigh. The darker side glanced around the kitchen, just barely missing his host peeking through the doorway. Focusing on the clock, he huffed.

“Well, I should get back to the others. I’m sure you have more work you should get back to.” Anxiety tucked his script into his hoodie, shifting his eyes back to the brighter side. Holding a hand out, he looked at Roman expectantly. 

“Same time next week?” The creative side reached out, stopping himself when an idea struck him. 

“How about two days from now? I’m sure I can get more of this finished by then!” He suggested, his eyes alight with hope. Anxiety moved his hand back a fraction, considering the offer. After a moment of somewhat tense silence, he took Romans hand and shook, quickly sinking out before either of them could say another word. 

Roman, unbothered by the quick exit, seemed to burst with energy. Thomas felt a pull in his own head, driving new ideas for a plethora of things into his thoughts. As he watched the creative side sink out, Thomas mulled over this new side of Anxiety, and how friendly the two sides were. 

Shaking his head, Thomas stepped back, turning to get ready for bed. He could ask about it tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know thpter took a long time to get out, and there's a reason. This chapter has seen so many rewrites over the past month, and I mis chaay go back and edit it some more. 
> 
> Thank y'all for being so patient with me! I'll try to get the next few out soon, and with the school year coming to a close in the coming week, that should be easier.


End file.
